metanoia: a transformative change of heart especially a spiritual conversion
My introductory sermon, for my licensing to preach was titled, “Lord, I Need a Heart Transplant”. My text was taken from Psalm 51:10 ~ Create in me a clean heart, O God. And renew a right spirit within me. I promise you, I had to live that word, before I could preach it. What I did not realize, over 15 years ago, was that this was not a one-shot deal. We are constantly, consistently, daily, being changed. Sometimes this transformation happens from the outside, in. At other times, it’s an inside job, that manifests on the outside.
What I really wasn’t aware of, even preaching, was I was living beneath my privilege in who God had created me to be. I was living a LIE. I was living the lie that the enemy whispered to me as a little girl, when he told me that I was damaged goods; that I wasn’t worthy of love; that no one was going to ever want to be with me; and the list goes on and on. Believing these lies, and not having the language as a child to tell my parents how I was feeling, I began to live with some horrible dysfunctional behaviors. I began to compromise who I was and what I was sent into the earth realm to accomplish.
Because of my beliefs and some of my life situations, I lived in that space for a really, really, long time ~ without my family and friends being aware of what I was experiencing. I masked my pain in overachieving, performance addiction, people pleasing, and in smoking a lot of weed. Nothing was legitimately killing the pain; but it was definitely, intensifying it.
Why am I sharing this with you? I share because, my entire ministry is based on transparency. And because God loves you as much as he loves me, I want you to know that it is going to take a change of heart for you to get the weight off you, that is holding you down. If you want change, you must do the inside work to find out who the Lord says you are. If you want to know what it feels like to love who you are, it’s going be a journey of changing your mind, your heart, and sometimes the people who surround you in order for you to experience any real freedom. Be ye transformed, by the renewing of your mind! I promise you, if you start the journey, the Lord will meet you there! Take real good care of you!!!
Meditate on: Psalm 51:10, Romans 12:2, and Hebrews 12:1